Gabriel's Story (Part 2 of 2)

In the beginning of all this, we were only experiencing seizures about once a month. They put him on medicine to control them, but unfortunately, they have steadily increased. As to date, two years later, he is on two different medicines to control his seizures and unfortunately, the longest we’ve even gone without one is two months. 

After being told that everything hinged on me and what I did with him over the next two years of his life, I became determined to do everything right. I was going to give this boy a fighting chance and I was going to be the best mom, doing whatever the doctors recommended. Wow, did this become overwhelming fast. Before I knew it, we were going from one appointment to the next, our days filled up with therapies, etc. 

It was about this time that I began attending an adoption group called, The Olive Tree Foundation. I made some good friends here, who really helped me through a lot. This is actually, where I met Adeye, who writes a blog known as, No Greater Joy Mom. I saw that she had several special needs children and she was a stay at home mom, who home schooled. I finally asked her, how she did it. She told me that she tackled one problem at a time. She said that if she tried to deal with everything at once it would become overwhelming, so she would deal with just one issue at a time. She said that her girls couldn’t walk when they first came home, so they did physical therapy, then once they got more of the gross motor skills under control then they switched to occupational therapy to work on more fine motor skills. She also reminded me that they are God’s children and that only He fully knows how to care for them. This was a turning point for me. It really helped me to realize that, yes, the first 3 years are very important but there is only so much I can do to help him, the rest is up to God. 

As I began to back off on some of his therapies and a strange thing seemed to happen to both him and Zackary. They both actually started developing more skills and doing better than they had in all those months of therapy. I quickly realized that yes Gabriel did need some therapies, but he didn’t need all the therapies in the world; he needed mom, a safe home, and encouraging environment where he could learn and grow. 

Last summer, Gabriel began having many stomach problems again. He stopped eating and started loosing weight. As I often do, I began doing research, trying to figure out what was going on with our son. That is when I realized that children with cerebral palsy have problems with their digestive systems motility. I found research indicating that children with cerebral palsy should follow a gluten/casein free diet to help decrease any roughage in their diet and help them pass their stool better. When I began this research Gabriel was on four different medicines (all at max doses) to help him go to the bathroom. He required frequent enemas, during the week, and the doctor was about to put him on a fifth medication. I figured anything was better than all this medication, so I gave the diet a try. My research told me that it would take a couple months before we would notice a difference. Well, this was not the case for Gabriel. I started to notice a difference, in him, within just a couple of days! Within a month, he was off all his medicine for his GI tract. Mind you, some of this medicine he’d been on since he was eight months old and he was now two years old. He began eating and I mean he began eating as if he was making up for lost time. I couldn’t get enough food in this child! 

Most importantly, he began to gain weight again. Overtime, I came to realize that he had a very sensitive gluten allergy. To date he is gluten/casein free. I have learned many different tricks and recipes to make this work for us and I am so glad for the change we made in our diets to help him.

Gabriel is an amazing little boy. After being told that he may never be able to walk, two weeks later he ran.

After being told that he would probably be developmentally delayed, he proved everyone wrong as well. 

He is often a couple months behind his peers, but don’t tell this little guy what he can’t do, because he’ll become more determined to do it. 

After being told he may never be able to talk, I can’t get him to stop talking. 

The only physical support this little guy currently needs now is AFOs for his feet to help him walk a little better. Even with those, he still amazes everyone. The doctor, who fits him with orthotics, believes that he may not need the full braces, in another year or so. He amazes his neurologist, his cerebral palsy doctor, and everyone who meets him at his ability to overcome his disability. 

Just a few weeks ago I was fighting back tears as I watched him once again do something he should never be able to do. Zackary was running a kid’s 1-mile fun run for a local free clinic. I never signed Gabriel up. I mean he was 2 years old and he had cerebral palsy. Of course, he couldn’t run a mile. Boy was I wrong. He wanted nothing more than to run with the big kids and run he did. He ran a half-mile, braces on, never stopping, only falling one time. He didn’t walk, he didn’t slow down, he ran!

When we adopted Gabriel, we never knew he had special needs. We thought we were adopting a perfectly healthy 8-month-old baby boy. If you think about how he would be labeled now if he was still in an orphanage, this is probably what you would read.

“Three year old boy with Neuronal Migration abnormality. Some cognitive and physical delays. Right sided Cerebral palsy, requiring braces to walk. Uncontrolled epilepsy. Needs special diet due to very sensitive gluten/casien allergy. Needs structure and consistency. Future academic and developmental concerns due to brain abnormality.”

The above statement would probably keep him from finding a forever family and he would have been stuck growing up in an orphanage or in some countries an institution, because of peoples fears of the unknown. Yet as his mom, I know that he is a thriving young man who has defied all the odds and I believe that he will grow up and be able to say “Look at what the Lord has done for me!”

As with Zackary, people have asked me if we would adopt Gabriel again knowing everything we know now. My answer to that is “Heck Yeah!!” He has been worth every sleepless night, every hour spent in the hospital, and every tear shed! I would have to write a novel if I sat down and wrote about everything we have been through with this little man, medically. And unfortunately, he has been through the ringer these past two years, although now, aside from still working to control his seizures, he is a very happy healthy little 3-year-old.

When we were in Ethiopia, there was another mom there. She was a young single mom who adopted a 6-month-old baby boy. I have been in contact with her once since adopting our son and found out that her son came home perfectly healthy, no problems whatsoever. At first, I was a little jealous to hear that, I came to realize something. God gave us each the perfect kids to fit our family. As a single mom, how would she have afforded some of Gabriel’s rocketing medical bills, the military covered ours. How would she have worked, a daycare would call 911 every time a child has a seizure and at one point Gabriel was having a couple seizures a week. All I can say is I am very thankful that God chose us to be his parents.

The Bible tells us that God doesn’t give us more then we can handle. Well, being a former pediatric ICU nurse with a determined spirit that doesn’t back down when faced with a challenge and having a husband who stands by my side through it all, he gave us the right child.

Gabriel has blessed this family so much; I wouldn’t change it for the world!

Gabriel's Story (Part 1 of 2)

 Once again, I want to convey our story, but also want to allow our son’s story to be just that, his story. So, I will give you some of his story in hopes that it may help other families, who has special needs children. The majority of his story, especially his Ethiopian story, will be his to tell when he is ready. That being said, let me take this opportunity to tell you a little bit about our baby, Gabriel.

Our first night at the guesthouse, in Ethiopia, with Gabriel, was a tough one. We quickly came to realize that he was a very sick little boy. His first night with us he projectile vomited three times. When we took him to the doctor the next day, they tried to tell us that he had a cold. When we tried to talk to his nannies at the orphanage about it, they insisted that I must have done something wrong; I must have given him the wrong formula.

Gabriel was deceiving. On the outside, he was this plump healthy baby boy, but on the inside, he was falling to pieces. 

 

Since infancy, he had been bottle propped. When I began to feed him from the bottle, he didn’t understand what to do. He wasn’t used to being held all the time and he couldn’t eat more then 2 or 3 oz at a time. My poor baby couldn’t sleep for more than an hour at a time; he was so hypervigilant. When we arrived back in the states, we had to be so careful when he was asleep. We had a two-story home, at the time, and he would sleep upstairs, but you couldn’t even chance the microwave beeping at the end of warming up food for fear that, that was enough to wake him. He wouldn’t allow himself to be comforted. In order to get him to sleep or get him close to us, we would have to swaddle him very tightly holding him in our arms. He would never lay his head on our shoulders willingly.

To help Gabriel build attachments, I would often carry him in a sling

Then there was Wes. While Zackary wanted nothing to do with me, Gabriel wanted nothing to do with Wes. He had only ever had female caregivers, in Ethiopia, and he was scared of men, in general. No man could pick him up or play with him. One night I was standing in the kitchen holding Gabriel, he was happy and content in my arms, but as soon as I handed him to Wes, he began to scream. Wes handed him back to me, the screaming stopped. This was when we realized that we were going to have to be intentional about building a relationship/attachment between Wes and Gabriel. Gabriel needed to learn to trust Wes and be willing to get close to him. 

Things were very difficult, in our home, during this time. Zackary’s behavior had us on our toes all day long, plus his troubles, at night. Gabriel just never slept. I was sleeping in one-hour increments, sometimes only a half an hour. It took us a while and a couple different specialists, but finally with the help of our doctor we were able to start to pinpoint Gabriel’s problem. Gabriel’s stomach was causing him a lot of pain. He tested positive for Giardia, which is a parasite in the intestines, H Pylori, which is a bacteria in his stomach and the poor child had been throwing up and refluxing for so long that he had esophagitis, which is inflammation of the esophagus. They put him several different medications and over time we began to see the results. Several months after we got home my little man was starting to come around. He was starting to develop a personality. We began to see him smile, laugh, and even play.

 There was one night that Zackary was at the neighbors playing and I decided to take that few minutes for a bath with Gabriel. He was about 10 ½ months at the time. All of a sudden, randomly Gabriel crawled up on my lap, laid his head on my chest, and just left it there. I was in shock! Wes and I couldn’t believe it. Gabriel had never allowed us to do that, let alone him initiating it. My heart melted. I just sat there holding him. We must have sat like that for 15 minutes. Then one day when he was 11 months old I finally got to play with him for the first time. You see, Gabriel didn’t really know how to play up until this point. He couldn’t play; he was usually in too much pain and discomfort. I couldn’t believe that I actually got to sit with him on the floor, play with balls, cars, baby toys, and he actually interacted with me and with them. I was so excited!

 Those two incidences were real turning points for us. Gabriel began bonding to me and, with Wes, working with him on an everyday basis, intentionally spending time with him; he began to attach to Wes. 

 

He began eating like a pig and sleeping through the night. It was such a huge change for him!

We celebrated his first birthday with him and our family; it was such a joyous occasion. 

Unfortunately, it was two days after his first birthday that our walls came shattering down. My friend from nursing school who lived 2 ½ hours away had decided to come and visit us for the day. She had only been at our home for twenty minutes when the incident happened. Gabriel had been crying, a lot and I couldn’t seem to figure out what was bugging him. We decided to take him outside to push his walker. It was one of his favorite things to do. He was on the sidewalk, pushing his walker and I was walking behind him when all of a sudden he let out a little cry and went to his knees. I thought he had fallen down, so I tried to pick him back up and stand him up, but his head and back arched backwards. I thought he was throwing a tantrum, so once again I tried to stand him up, talking to him, but at this point still only half paying attention to what was going on. Again his head and back arched backwards, but something seemed weird, so again I tried to stand him up, but this time I really looked down a him. This was when I realized that my son was as limp as a rag doll. I picked him up, screaming his name only to watch his eyes roll back, in his head. He was laying there in my arms, limp, unconscious, barely breathing. I was a pediatric ICU nurse and yet I stood there frozen. While I stood there frozen, in my mind I had a million things going on. I had a pretty good idea what was happening. I was certain my son was having a seizure and I knew that this wasn’t good. Seizures this young often mean brain problems. While all this was going through my head I was also begging God. I remember in my head saying to him “I know he’s not mine, I know he’s your son, but please not yet, I just got him, please don’t take him from me yet.” All this was going on in my head over a matter of seconds. In the meantime, my friend, who was also a nurse, brought me back to reality. She grabbed Gabriel from my arms and began hitting his back, afraid he had been choking on something, while at the same time telling me to call 911. While we were waiting for the ambulance to arrive, Gabriel started to come back around. He was staring off into space, not really, responsive and just pushing his tongue out of his mouth. We were taken by ambulance to the hospital where I was met by one of my old co-workers. She had worked with me, for over a year, in the PICU, and had recently transferred to an ER position at the hospital by our home. I’ll tell you, God really does put the right people in your life at the right time. I was so thankful that my friend randomly decided to come and visit me that morning. Also, with everything that was going on it was a real relief to know we had a nurse, who knew me and knew what she was doing at the hospital! Wes arrived shortly after we got to the hospital as well. 

 Later a CT scan revealed that there was something wrong with his brain. They couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was, but they scheduled us for an immediate follow up with a neurologist.

The next couple of months were tough for us. 

 His MRI revealed that he had a Neuronal Migration abnormality in his brain. Basically, what that means is that in-utero the neurons didn’t scatter properly in his brain. He was missing part of the left side of his brain. Where the brain should be bumpy, his was smooth and his brain matter didn’t spread all the way to his skull like it was supposed to. Also, his grey matter was too small. 

They don’t really know why this happened, but they believe that it was most likely due to malnutrition in his biological mom, during pregnancy. We were told that there was no way to know what he was going to be like developmentally. There was no way to know if he would ever walk or talk or how far he would develop or if he would ever stop meeting his milestones. We were told that the first 3 years were the most important years of his life developmentally and that what we did now would affect him for the rest of his life. Talk about getting the weight of the world put on your shoulders! 

Our son was officially diagnosed with epilepsy. This was also when it was made clear to me why Gabriel’s balance was so unsteady and why he fell all the time. He had mild cerebral palsy on his right side.

Carnival Success!!

Thanks to family and friends, we held our carnival this past

Saturday and it was a great success!! We raised $2084.50!!

Henrico County Fire department came out and filled up our dunk tank for us, in the morning.

We had some wonderful volunteers come and take over running the carnival for us and I can not be more thankful for their help! I was feeling a little better and was able to sit at the information booth on and off throughout the carnival.

Then, in the afternoon, the fire department came back to allow the kids an opportunity to sit in the fire truck. The kids had so much fun! Thank you, Henrico County Fire Department!

We had 50 children and their families come on Saturday and my favorite comment that I got to hear was that the kids were having so much fun they didn't want to leave!

My uncle Neil had fun making balloon animals for the kids.

 
Then of course there were the adults. They had a great time too.

Apparently our friend, Ted, was bouncing for so long in the bouncy house that he fell asleep.

Can't forget Wes in the dunk tank! Who do you think was first in line to dunk him, but his mom! LOL. I also heard that the guys had a bet going on, whoever dunked him had to make a donation.

Ted in the dunk tank.

Rebekah in the dunk tank.

Austin in the dunk tank. This was really a hit!

Then our friend, Ted, told my mom that if she went, in the dunk tank, he would give us a $50.00 donation. So, to my great surprise my mom went in the dunk tank! The first to throw the ball was my niece, Katianna. It was hilarious!


 

I think someone forgot to tell Katianna about payback though.

Of course we can't forget about another really, really important event that occurred this day too, Gabriel's 3rd Birthday!!

I am so thankful everyday for my wonderful son! God has really blessed us and I am doubly thankful for him everyday! I don't know if I'll ever get over the day I held him in my arms, him barely breathing, and me begging God not to take him from me yet. I think, for me, it makes all his birthdays and all his mile stones even more special for me. It reminds me how thankful I am to have another year with him!

Happy 3rd Birthday Gabriel

We Love You!!

Carnival

Thank you so much to everyone who supported us with our Chick-fil-A spirit night!!!
I don't know the results of how we did yet, but from what I heard there were a lot of people who came out to support us. Thank you!! We've also had many people ask where we were. Well, I had posted earlier in the week that I had, had strep throat. On Wednesday my throat hadn't gotten any better and the cough that I had, had gotten worse. Much worse. I was having a hard time breathing. So, unfortunately, Wes the boys and I spent our evening at the doctors where I got shots of steroids, nebulizer treatments and x-rays. They believe I have mycoplasma bronchitis, although it won't be confirmed until next week when the blood tests come back.

As for the Carnival, the show must go on!!
I have been given strict orders to rest. I am making significant improvements but, I was told that under no circumstances was I going to be throwing a carnival this weekend. Thankfully the Lord has provided us with some wonderful family and friends who are stepping up to the plate to make this fundraiser happen. We have family coming in from Bedford Va, New York, New Jersey, and Canada to help make this weekend happen. I just wish "A" and "V" could really see how much they are loved by so many! So, I will try to be at the table about our kids as best as I can this weekend, but I will not be the one running the show. Please invite your family and your friends, come out and have a good time while at the same time supporting our adoption. We would love to see you there!

Chick-fil-A Spirit Night

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Our home has been hit with Strep Throat and I seem have gotten the worst of it.

Anyways, just a reminder tonight is our Chick-fil-A fundraiser!! Please come out, enjoy some good food and support our adoption!! Click on the flyer to blow it up and see more information.

Less then a week away

In less than a week, on Saturday May 12th, we are throwing our big Carnival Fundraiser. We can't wait!! We are looking forward to a fun filled day that will help give two children the forever family they have been praying and hoping for. We will have bounce houses, a slide, a dunk tank, carnival games and more. Please help spread the word and come join us!!